i can never really breathe just right anymore.
i know this song will make me cry..so why don't
i stop it? why do i look for it instead?

i'm eating peanut butter knowing i'm alergic to peanuts again..

i don't think i ever ask for too much..but him..ughh.
i didn't even make it to half of the song before my
throught was dieing to sob and my eyes begging to burst.

i held on to the half quarter dangling from my neck.
squeezed it for dear life. until i felt the sharp edges
digging into my palm. i was going to burst. i let go
of the quarter..i quickly paused the song before i yelled
for this pain to end. i could hardly make out the artist's
names in my ipod. but i managed to chaange the song. and
i put my hair in my eyes..i hold my breath. hoping no one
notices a thing..they don't.

then i worry about myself.
about me. and my end<3

"i'll never get over you..walking away.
and i've never been the kind to ever let
my feelings show. and i thought that being
strong meant never loosing your self
control. but i'm just drunk enough, to let
go of my pain. to hell with my pride. let
it fall like rain from my eyes...

tonight i wanna cry."


------
later when i got home, i quickly managed to stubble into
my room and yell, "i'm going to sleep!" without my voice
breaking. i turned on the song really loud. and i sobbed.
i've never cried so hard. but i did, i cried and kicked,
and yelled/sang. i let it all out there. after i couldn't
breathe..i pulled myself together, i pulled out my algebra
textbook..and did my homework.

i felt better after letting it out.
i felt better when i didn't have to hold it in anymore.

but i'm still daisy..